rrunthegun

"Sometimes you'll never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory."

Month: November, 2013

Thank You:

Thank You

November 28, 2013
____________________________

1. Though at times it seems almost as if you don’t try to do better or become a better figure, I know you do. I know you try despite the stubbornness you sometimes portray as an indication of authority. And I understand that sometimes you have to say “no”, or you have to be more stern, and be more authoritative,
And that is something I still have to learn to understand after how many years of rejecting your ways of caring. I probably will never understand your perspectives on life, but I will never shun the very fact that you love me so. With that said, Thank you. & I love you!!

2. You are a tough one. You have always been one of the most challenging person in my life. I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing, but I will never give up on you. I may ignore, avoid, hide and bury subjects and matters that need to be discussed with you, and I know I shouldn’t do that, but it’s overwhelming trying to understand and change the minds of a rock. But like I said, I won’t give up on you. And I know you won’t give up on me. I know you will never give up on me. I just know it. And through all the bullshit I put you through sometimes, Thank you so much for always being there regardless of my shitty attitude I have towards you. I love you!

3. I obviously love you! I have nothing much to say but to appreciate your lame ways of being considerate and all that weird things that you do. Nothing will ever change my mind about you….Because there’s no need to change something that’s already forever set in stones. You will forever be my one and only S.
Thank you for conveniently always being there for me. If that even made sense.

4. I cannot even begin the gratitude I have towards you. It honestly is so overwhelming for me to even try to understand how much I love you. You have been nothing but help in my life; you were always there when I needed you- with the random, late night venting sessions, or venting texts, or whatever things that would help me get through unwanted situations, you were there. You were there then, and I only hope you will forever be there later. I truly am blessed to have you in my life. And again, no words will ever be perfect enough to describe the love and appreciation I have for you. You, truly are a gift. And never have I been so surprised by a gift already unwrapped, made especially for me. I love you so damn much.
Thank you for helping me unravel the best part about love.

5. Honestly, there’s not much to say. You’re my best friend. I know you already know even without having me say or declare anything. We have our bumping head moments, but we get it. We get each other. We understand each other, & it’s not awkward to directly confront one another. And that’s how I know you’re my best friend. We just get things. And that is something that is very hard to come by nowadays. With that, I Thank you. I thank you for being a best friend of “unspoken years.” HAHA!

6. Thank you. Thank you for things you’ll probably never know. Thank you for years of laughter. Thank you for never abandoning me even through all the struggles I put you through. Thank you for never once doubting me. Thank you for always putting me first, and never for once, last. Thank you for giving me the confidence I needed. Thank you for the years of comfort, and thank you for your constant love. I hope one day, you will find someone who loves you as much and more than you can ever fathom. And I hope she is everything that you are, and I hope, truly truly hope, that the love you‘ll give, will be the love you get.
Thank you for everything. You truly are a fighter.

7. !!!! -______-; I don’t even know what to say. I barely even see you. And we barely even talk. But somehow, we’re always just so cool together [considering already how crazy I am, and how incredibly awkward you are]. Thank you for helping me through what is known to be one of the most difficult things I had to do this year. Heck, ever. Your shit talking to me is always refreshing and needed. And I cannot thank you enough for your loyalty. You are one my closest closest closest friends whom I hold very dearly. Seriously dude, Thank you. Hugs*

8. Thank you for happening. You are the one thing I wished had never happened. But it did. I am not pleased by the my past actions, but I am no longer in control of what already is. I don’t want to thank you for what I did. But I guess I can thank life for the failure of my actions. But a simple question so life-changing, threatened my beliefs, and THAT made me realize how unhappy I was. And I am not proud of what I did, but I guess I have you to thank, to help me realize exactly what it is that I want. And as a result to everything thing that happened, I have more than what I want. I have what I need.
And as much as I seriously do not want to thank you, thank you.
Thank you for being a valuable lesson.

9. Thank you for the years of friendship. Though it is not pure and honest, it is still valued to me. I love and care for you so much more than you think. And I think I underestimated myself by thinking I somehow could live without you, but clearly, I cannot. You are so smart, so beautiful, so funny, and so geeky, and I wished you see that in yourself. I wish you quit comparing yourself to those around you because you have everything you need to become the woman you wish to become. I wished you understood that the things that fail in your life are the things that are supposed to challenge you as a person, to not only be a victim to their mistakes, but also yours. Those are key factors in bettering your shaky relationships with those you’ve always doubted. We may not have the best of friendship, but I know that the years of growing up together, is stronger than the crap we are and will have to go through. I’m not always good to you, and you to me, but at the end of this tedious yet relevant journey of the pit of our friendship, I still value you. And I hope you never doubt that.

10. Thank you for holding my hands when there was no one else to hold. Thank you for showing me the light with your smiles just at the break of dawn of my defeat. Thank you for your guidance and gentle care.
I promise you from the bottom of my heart that I will take care and love you like I’ve never before. I promise you that when those beautiful hands first rest on my mine, I will cherish the warmth, and remember the hope it gave me when I was at my most fickle state. You are everything I never thought I would wish for, and I thank God everyday since, for the glimpse of your beautiful embrace. And I thank God everyday, for blessing me with the man who will help me find you. I love you beyond love itself.
The both of you.

11. There’s no one greater than You.
I genuinely am so thankful to have You in my life.
Wherever life takes me, I know You are there guiding me;
Helping me; Loving me.
With everything I have put You through,
Thank You, for Your unconditional Love.
Thank You for never leaving me.

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“Everything Happens For A Reason.”

November 21, 2013

_________________________

You know how sometimes certain things just trigger you more than any other times? Say, for example, a quote: “Everything happens for a reason.” It’s a common, well known quote that not everyone agrees on or is fond of. But perhaps one day, a quote so cliche as that, all of a sudden made sense. Why? Why now? Because now you can relate. Now you understand that life is not always sweet; it has its bitter days and sour moments. Now, now you know that if it weren’t for your parents failed marriage, your father’s lack of attention, your family’s lack of understanding, your best friend’s betrayal, your ex’s shortcomings, your inability to trust, you would not be where you are right now. And where you are right now may not be paradise, but for the first time in a long time, you feel as though the weight on your back has finally been lifted. You’re content. You’re smiling, you’re laughing, you’re breathing.

No, it sure as hell is not paradise, but it sure is better than where you were before. It’s real, and it’s happening now.

 “Everything happens for a reason“, they say.

 Believe it.

Because it does.

Hallelujah

Hallelujah
By Jeff Buckley
 
 Well I heard there was a secret chord
 that David played and it pleased the Lord
 But you don't really care for music, do you?
 Well it goes like this:
 The fourth, the fifth,
 The minor fall and the major lift
 The baffled king composing Hallelujah
 
 Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...
 
 Your faith was strong but you needed proof
 You saw her bathing on the roof
 Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
 She tied you to her kitchen chair
 She broke your throne and she cut your hair
 And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
 
 Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...
 
 Baby I've been here before
 I've seen this room and I've walked this floor (you know)
 I used to live alone before I knew you
 And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
 and love is not a victory march
 It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
 
 Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...
 
 there was a time when you let me know
 What's really going on below
 But now you never show that to me, do you?
 But remember when I moved in you
 And the holy dove was moving too
 And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
 
 Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...
 
 Maybe there's a God above
 But all I've ever learned from love
 Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
 And it's not a cry that you hear at night
 It's not somebody who's seen the light
 It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
 
 Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...
 Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...
 Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
 Hallelujah, hallelujah

There.

01roadrachel

November 18, 2013
__________________

Take
me
away.

Just,

take
me
away.

Somewhere
far.

Somewhere
where
you
and
I,

don’t
exist.

Take
me
there.

-RachelRundengan.

Breath Of Life.

November 14, 2013
_____________________

I was lying there,
ready.
Counting the breaths
I have so carelessly taken for granted,
beneath the celestial autumn sky,
and in the roads of what would become
my eternity.

Dear Lord,
though I may be alone,
be with me.
And never let me go.
My Dear Lord,
please be with me.

My heart slowly decelerated,
and the brevity of my breaths
became promising.

And in the midst of my defeat,
Two beautiful, little Angels
with gleaming smiles so heavenly,
appeared before me;
Holding the cold hands
I had wished to be held.
And there I found myself
Blinded by
Le Clair de Lune.

In total surrender,
as I was lying there,
lungs deprived of the sweet touch of air,
stood a life
I thought had departed.
Beneath the celestial autumn sky,
And in the roads of what could’ve been my eternity,
God showed me,

the wonderment of
a single breath.

-RachelRundengan.

The Discovery.

photo (1)

November 8, 2013
___________________

The roaring storm drifted with the night.
And beyond the glistening, golden horizon,
graciously, rises the sun.
And here I am,
a lost explorer at sea
sailing to discover my greatest discovery.

-RachelRundengan.

Lost In You.

Titi's[Photo Taken By: Christian T. Willis]

November 3, 2013
 _______________________
In a brief, passing moment,
 here, enraptured by the eyes that speak;
 lips that articulate;
 touch that eases,
 I was adrift in all the wonder you possess.
 Disarrayed by the love once thought unattainable,
 I was lost.
 In that brief, passing moment,
 I was lost in you,
 And I don’t think I want to be found.
Not now.
 Not ever.

                                                                -RachelRundengan.

Love Is.

October 25, 2013
____________________________

Love is not supposed to be painful.
It isn’t meant to be a challenge,
nor is it supposed to teach a lesson.
Love is not supposed to be hard.
it shouldn’t be taken as a job,
it shouldn’t be tiring.
It shouldn’t be tedious,
and it shouldn’t be a routine.
Love should not be secretive.
Love is not supposed to be kept hidden.
Love shouldn’t bear so many questions.
It shouldn’t be forced,
and most importantly,
love shouldn’t be feared.

Love is supposed to be simple.
It’s supposed to be easy, and fun.
Love is supposed to be as natural as
the sunrise.
It’s supposed to be honest and valued.
Love is meant to be displayed,
and it should only be taken as a lesson to forgive,
and to love even more than you can ever have envisioned.
Love is supposed to be painless.
It should be light and pleasant.
Love is the willingness to sacrifice,
and the enthusiasm to compromise.
And when everything seems dim,
love is supposed to guide and follow.
Love is not to be feared.
It is a spontaneous adventure
with endless new beginnings and ceaseless odd endings.
It is the only thing in your life that makes being insane, normal.
Because that’s what love is. Crazy.
Like running into the wild alone blindfolded,
hoping to escape all that there is, untouched. Unbroken.

Yeah, Love is crazy.
But it is ultimately the best thing that will ever happen to you.

-RachelRundengan.