"Sometimes you'll never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory."

Month: October, 2011


Off to Bali!

October 23rd - November 15th, 2011


– Three days, two nights with my sister.


-Three weeks of voluntary work alone. Hopefully it’ll turn out..well.


Together Apart.

I wouldn’t really classify myself as one of those “mushy” people once in a relationship, but I’m about to be mushy right now [HAHA]. I miss Mister Novio, also known as *drum roll*, Michael Patrick Leite. I really do. I’ve realized that we’ve spent most of our time together apart. Before we….”took it to the next level“, we were friends. Good friends. Close friends; We were “homies”, per se. Anyway, we basically started off while he was living in Brazil and I, of course, in California. We don’t really have an official “when-I-asked-you-out-date“, but we do have that “one day” that changed everything from A to Z; December 22nd, 2010. We’ve been friends since 2006- from acquaintances to awkward friends, to buddies, to close friends, to good friends, to TOO close and to TOO good of friends, and NOW..not only is he my Novio [boyfriend], he’s also my Best friend with a capital B. And I’m not saying that just because he’s mi Novio, oke? He really is my Best friend. Anyway, back to this distance shenanigan; He was in Brazil and I was in the Golden State when we started. He came back at the end of March, and not a full five months of being physically in each other’s presence, I go to Indonesia for four months & counting down*. I’m going back to California on the 12th of December, and on January 2012, he might possibly move to the biggest state in the United States of America; Texas. Yep. I mean, Texas is not as far as Brazil or Indonesia, but still- he’s not going to be as physically reachable as he was in Banning. As much as I absolutely love being near him, I actually don’t mind the distance. I take this distance challenge as an experience for the both of us. Of course at times or most of the time it sucks being away in a different country or state, but that quote, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” is the honest truth. At the end of the day, when things get tough, ask yourself [if you’re in a long distance relationship], “Is this really worth it?” Though our fights and arguments through electronic devices can be beyond overwhelming, without a doubt, I know he is worth every single drop of sweaty effort. He truly is.

….And going back to the distance, I thank it for making my life with Michael Patrick Leite just THAT much more interesting. 


To Be Or Not To Be Thankful.

September 13, 2011 6:13 PM



-I’ve recently just watched a video that pretty much slapped me back to reality. This particular video makes me feel like im a dumb, snobby, little girl who can’t shut up and learn to be thankful. Well here’s one to be thankful about: the video. Every so [very] often, we tend to whine and complain about the things we don’t posses, and eventually forgetting about the things we DO have. I don’t know why I have to watch this video to notice what I am capable of and or have, because being in a third world country [Indonesia] alone and seeing the unfortunate should already have this huge impact on me. Don’t get me wrong, being in Indonesia has definitely remind me of how unbelievably fortunate I am in the States, but sometimes I forget that.  I’m pretty sure I could speak if not to all, but to MOST people that we often times forget how blessed we are. In my speech class, I spoke about famine as my informative. What caught my attention was a statistic that states: If one has food in the fridge, a roof over his/her head, and a place to sleep, he/she is richer than 75% of the world. SEVENTY-FIVE percent of the  WORLD! And addition to that, if one has money in the bank, wallet, and some spare change, he/she is amongst the top 8% of the world’s wealthy. I HAVE ALL THAT & being the  gluttonous person that I’am, I.WANT.MORE.- It’s oke to want, or in most cases, wanting more..Just don’t be a brat about it. By being a brat, I mean never content, always wanting more, and forgetting to be thankful. Being thankful is the easiest, yet most difficult thing to do sometimes. Who actually sits down on a day-to-day basis and think about how incredibly fortunate they are? I don’t, but I need to start doing so. I do however admit that it’s easier said than done. The human mind could only do so much without positive thinking. Without being positive, we falter. A personal example, I was a vegetarian for 8 months and a pescatarian for almost a year and a half. Before I decided to become a vegetarian, I was already thinking of ALL the food  I wouldn’t be able to eat; orange chicken, steak, fish, cheeseburgers, et cetera et cetera. I was vulnarable before I was even a vegetarian. I was so busy thinking about all the food I wouldn’t be able to eat that I forgot about the food I could still devour! Rice, noodles, soup, vegetables with all the spicy spices, VEGGIE MEAT[!!!!] [I know, very Asian], and OTHER delicious food that if it were to be  compared to the carnivorous meals, it would be far more healthier. My mind set before I was a “veggie” is a classic example of how limited and or unable our minds can be. We are too quick  to list and identify the negative, that all the positive becomes an immediate blur. That’s what the good things we have are sometimes, a blur; we can’t see it unless it is focused. I have pretty much  everything I could possibly need to survive in this world; I have my loved ones, food, clothes, home, education, eyes to see, arms to hold, feet to walk, mouth to talk, nose to breathe, everything. Yet I still whine because I want more clothes, better food, bigger room. What I SHOULD be doing is focusing on the things that I DO have. What I should be doing is be thankful for being able to do  what I can do now and not take that for granted. The human mind is so powerful and great, that if we were to change the way we think positively, we can easily identify the negatives without  any complaints involved, and recognize the value of what we have, and be thankful for it. Being thankful with what you have is the answer to abolishing all the wants & more in this world. So  don’t forget to be thankful, it might be the only thing you’re missing to a content life.

A Glimpse Of Indonesia.

  • I’m staying in Indonesia for four months. Two reasons. First, my Opa [Grandpa] & second, voluntary work. Two months have gone by faster than it should- and the pictures I’ve taken so far aren’t enough to satisfy these eyes of mine. I need to take more of what Indonesia is all about. BUT in the meanwhile, enjoy what I already have: 

Side Note*


I don’t have internet access 80% of the time here in Indonesia, so I often write or “blog” first through my notepad & later simply copy and paste ’em unto wordpress when I have the time.  So don’t get confused by the date and time that I’ve already included along with my shenanigans. 

The Remarkable Pain.

October 19, 2011
11:51 PM


The silence was thicker than snow
The pain was remarkable.
Walked in to a place of significant memories,
destroyed by a fragment of trembling stances.
The shadow of my lost treasure follows me,
reminding me the sweetness from which this
scar emerged in seconds.
Breathless soul, a thoughtless mind.
Black and white images draw me to the edge.
Feeling hopeless, standing alone in the darkness of the light.
Melodies of bitterness scream in the quiet nights,
treading on water of unconscious dreams.
Tons of unsaved hearts suffocating, drowning me
to the abyss of my forgotten tomorrows.
Untying the vacant foundation that burdens my travels.
A coward of the undiscovered,
a fool dragged by the days gone by.
The possibility of the grandeur weakens the bones,
but the blossoming flowers and honey bees of spring
fill the fragile state with contrast of colors but black and white.
Awaken by the light shown through the windowpane,
a tree of changing colors, vagabond clouds, the whispering winds;
The remarkable pain, the silence, the memories-
And of these things, the presence I will shun no more.
Walked through a fatal time of slippery slope.
The silence was thicker than snow and the pain was remarkable, no less.
I drowned only to be rescued once more by a little thing called hope.